Courage
It takes a lot of courage to do some of the simplest things, just because they are right and laziness, the adversary, and even my own nature oppose them. Does that mean I am being courageous against myself? Sure; I guess that's a way to look at it. So what gives me courage?
Some simple things are music and examples. Lately music has been particularly powerful lately. I have forgotten the intensity that my training demands of me. But I have gotten my desire to push back through some music created for, well war really. Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin has been especially motivating. The song war made for a video game, but it epitomizes the pain that comes with war and war training, but also reminds me of the need to stare that pain and the face and say (hope this isn't viewed too vulgarly) kiss it cause I am about to kick your's. I don't know how to put it, but it just re-energizes me. I have gotten so exhausted and sick of training that I hated it; but at one point I so looked forward to it.
Has it made me a meaner harder person? I hope not, but I do feel I have been forged stronger and given a thicker shell of resistance to pain. I know there is a strong difference between pain and danger.
Then there is the need for spiritual nourishment. This is something I ought to never become calloused to. I have had my head fully pushed under the water at I get submerged in the world, and once I stopped fighting that and instead showed how I could 'hold my breath' and not partake of what I am submerged in, and yet still perform. Now, though I could not do it on my mission, I have risen to gain the respect and love of my peers to the point that I am a leader to them all. I didn't think it would happen, but I am certain it wouldn't if I had given in and succumbed to pressure. Just last night I paid a good night visit to some friends across the hall that turned into and hour or hour and a half discussion about the undeniability of God's supreme existence. Of course there were so many things that we did not agree on, but in the end, me being there somehow brought up the awesome and very respectful discussion that allowed us all to in part bear our testimony of God's hand in the universe.
Then I had to take the step of courage. I struggle with posting religious things on Facebook because I don't want to be that guy constantly preaching a sermon through his statuses. But those Mormon messages always amaze me, and there was one that related exactly to what my friends and I had been talking about. So I shared it and figured if anyone gave me any crap that I was sharing it for my other friends who would appreciate it. Well those friends decided to watch it, without me knowing and and they both liked it enough to 'Facebook like' it. That was impressive to me; I hadn't expected that and found it a cool surprise when they were willing to openly show appreciation for that.
But it is really late and my bed looks welcoming so I leave this here. Good night readers.
Has it made me a meaner harder person? I hope not, but I do feel I have been forged stronger and given a thicker shell of resistance to pain. I know there is a strong difference between pain and danger.
Then there is the need for spiritual nourishment. This is something I ought to never become calloused to. I have had my head fully pushed under the water at I get submerged in the world, and once I stopped fighting that and instead showed how I could 'hold my breath' and not partake of what I am submerged in, and yet still perform. Now, though I could not do it on my mission, I have risen to gain the respect and love of my peers to the point that I am a leader to them all. I didn't think it would happen, but I am certain it wouldn't if I had given in and succumbed to pressure. Just last night I paid a good night visit to some friends across the hall that turned into and hour or hour and a half discussion about the undeniability of God's supreme existence. Of course there were so many things that we did not agree on, but in the end, me being there somehow brought up the awesome and very respectful discussion that allowed us all to in part bear our testimony of God's hand in the universe.
Then I had to take the step of courage. I struggle with posting religious things on Facebook because I don't want to be that guy constantly preaching a sermon through his statuses. But those Mormon messages always amaze me, and there was one that related exactly to what my friends and I had been talking about. So I shared it and figured if anyone gave me any crap that I was sharing it for my other friends who would appreciate it. Well those friends decided to watch it, without me knowing and and they both liked it enough to 'Facebook like' it. That was impressive to me; I hadn't expected that and found it a cool surprise when they were willing to openly show appreciation for that.
But it is really late and my bed looks welcoming so I leave this here. Good night readers.
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